(Dm)There!

(A7)Right (Dm)there!

Look at that tan, well (A7#5)tend ed (Dm)skin!

Look at the kill er (A7#5)shape he’s (Dm)in!

Look at that slight ly (A7)stub bly (Dm)chin, oh (F#dim7)please, he’s (Gm)gay, (D7)to tal ly (Gm)gay!

I’m not a (Gm)bout to (Gm)cel e (E)brate.

Ev er y (F)trait could (F)in di (Bb)cate a to tal ly (Eb)straight ex (Eb)pa tri (A7)ate.

This guy’s not (Dm)gay, I (A)say, not (Dm)gay.

That is the el e phant (A7#5)in the (Dm)room.

(A7#5)Well, is it (Dm)rel e vant (A7#5)to as (Dm)sume (A7#5)that a (Dm)man who (A7)wears per (Dm)fume is (F#dim7)au to (Gm)mat i c’lly, (D7)rad i c’lly (Gm)fey?

But look at his (Gm)coiffed and (Gm)crisp y (C7)locks!

Look at his (F)silk trans (F)lu cent (Bb)socks!

There’s the e (Eb)ter nal (Eb)par a (A7)dox: look what we’re (Dm)see in’...

(Dm)What are we (B)see in’?

(G9)Is he (C7sus)gay

or Eu ro (F)pe an!

(CN.C.)Ohhh...

(Bb)Gay or Eu ro pe an?

It’s (F)hard to guar an tee.

Is he (C7)gay or Eu ro pe an?

Well, (F)hey, don’t look at me!

You see they (Bb)bring their boys up diff ’rent in those (F)charm ing for eign (Eb)ports.

They (G7)play pe cu liar sports in (C)shin y (CN.C.)shirts and ti ny shorts.

(Bb)Gay or for eign fel la?

The (F)an swer could take weeks!

They both (Gm7)say things like “Ciao (C13)bel la” while they (F)kiss you on both cheeks!

Oh please.

(Bb)Gay or Eu ro pe an?

So (F)man y (F)shades of (A)gray.

De (Gm7)pen ding on (C)the (F)time of day (Bb)the (Gm7)French go ei (C7)ther (Eb)way!

(D)Is he (Gm)gay or Eu ro (C7)pe an, or… (Dm)There!

(A)Right (Dm)there!

Look at that (Dm)con de (A7#5)scend ing (Dm)smirk!

Seen it on ev ’ry (A7#5)guy at (Dm)work!

That is a met ro (A7)het ’ro (Dm)jerk.

This (F#dim7)guy’s not (Gm)gay, I (D7)say no (Gm)way!

(CN.C.)That is the (Gm)el e phant (Gm)in the (C7)room!

(CN.C.)Well, is it (F)re le vant (F)to pre (Bb)sume that a (Eb)hot tie in (Eb)that cos (A7)tume is (CN.C.)au to (A)mat i c’lly, (G#dim)rad i c’lly, (Adim7)cer tain ly, flirt in’ ly (E)gay!

Of fi cial ly gay!

Swish il ly (F)gay, gay, gay, (E)gay, (F)gay!

Dam mit!

(Bb)Gay or Eu ro pe an?

So (F)sty lish and re laxed.

Is he (Gm7)gay or Eu ro (C7)pe an?

I (F6)think his (CN.C.)chest is waxed.

But they (Bb)bring their boys up diff ’rent there, it’s (F)cul tur ’ly di (Cm)verse.

It’s (G7)not a fash ion curse if he (C7)wears a (CN.C.)kilt or bears a purse!

(Bb)Gay or just ex ot ic?

I (F)still can’t crack the code.

Yeah, his (Gm7)ac cent is hyp (C13)not ic, but his (F)shoes are (CN.C.)point y toed.

Huh.

(Bb)Gay or Eu ro pe an?

So (F)man y (F)shades of (A)gray!

But (Gm7)if he turns (C)out (F)straight, I’m free (Bb)at (Gm7)eight on Sat (C7)ur (Eb)day!

(D)Is he (Gm)Gay?

Or Eu ro pe an?

Gay?

Or Eu ro pe an?

(Bb)Gay or Eu (C9)ro… (CN.C.)Wait a min ute!

This man is (C)gay AND Eu ro pe an!

Whoa!

And (G)nei ther is dis grace!

Oh!

You (Am7)got to stop your (D7)be in’ a com (G)plete ly clos et case.

D’oh!

It’s (C)me, not her, he’s see in’, no (G)mat ter what he (Dm)say!

I (Am7)swear he nev (D7)er, (G)ev er, ev (C)er (Am6)swing the oth (B)er (F)way!

You (Am)are so (G)gay, you (Am)big par (F#dim)fait, you (F)flam ing one man (E)cab a ret!

I’m (Am)straight!

You (CN.C.)were not yes ter day!

So if I may, I’m proud to say he’s (G)gay!

He’s gay!

Please!

Gay!

(CN.C.)Fine, o kay, I’m gay!

(D)Hoo (G)ray!