By the (Bbm7)time the wind has blown the weath er vane a round, I’ll (C7)show you

if I can.

No (Bbm7)mat ter what the cir cum stance, for one thing I’m re nowned: my (F)char ac ter is (Fm)spit spot spick and (C)span.

I’m prac ti cal ly (C7)per fect in ev ’ry (F)way.

Prac ti cal ly (C7)per fect,

so peo ple (Fsus)say.

Each vir tue vir tu ’lly knows no (Am7)bound.

Each trait is (G7)great and pat ent ly (Bb)sound.

I’m prac ti cal ly per fect

from head to (F)toe.

If I had a (G7)fault, it would (A7)nev er dare to (Dm7)show.

I’m so (F)prac ti (E)cal ly (Bb)per fect in (C7)ev e ry (F)way.

Both prim and (A)prop er and (Dm)nev er too stern.

Well ed u (A)cat ed, yet (Dm)will ing to learn.

I’m clean and (C7)hon est, my (F)man ner re fined,

and I wear (G7)shoes of the (C7)sen si ble kind.

I (E)suf fer no (Bb)non sense and (E)whilst I re (Bb)main,

there’s (Bb)noth ing else I (Gm7)feel I need ex plain.

I’m prac ti cal ly

I’m prac ti cal ly (D7)per fect,

and here’s my (G)aim:

by the time I (D7)leave here you both will be the (Em7)same.

You’ll be (G)prac ti (F#)cal ly (D7)per fect,

(G)prac ti (F#)cal ly (D7)per fect.

You will be (G)prac ti (Em7)cal ly (Am7)per fect in (D7)ev ’ry (G)way.